Vrijdag 16 en zaterdag 17 december is het zover. Dan gaat de tweede editie van State-X/New Forms van start. Als voorproefje op dit festival leggen we een aantal artiesten wat vragen voor. Als derde het Schotse trio Fuck-off Machete. Fuck-off Machete? “We are Fuck-off Machete from Glasgow, Scotland and we make beautifully angry and happy music. What we do best is to finish songs. We have been told that we are the best band in the world at finishing songs! The rest of the song is equally good, but songs should always have a good ending, just like a movie. You can compare us with cracking an egg open to find that it’s got three yolks.” “We think audiences never know what to expect of us. They see two hairy guys and an innocent looking petite girl and are then amazed at the noise we then make...'you make some mad sounds for a three piece'.” Best adventure? “Representing Scotland by playing at the Scottish Pavillion at the Venice Biennale, which is a big honour. Venice is a beautiful city, lovely weather, good people, fine food and free drink and admissions to all the parties.” Best gig? “At The Garage in London. Don't think we've ever played better than we did that night and the crowd was phenominal!” What can always be better? “Always try to push the music, but it must always touch your heart, soul, head or feet.” Rituals before and after a gig? “Before: stay sober and focused. Calm Nashii down. After: get very drunk and hit the dance floor. We could give most bands a run for their money when it comes to dancing. Calm Nashii Down.” Have you ever been nervous before a gig? “You are always a little nervous, but when you kick into your first tune it disappears. You have to really concentrate on what you’re playing in the first song because it’s so easy to become distracted by other things – which is why mistakes are made – and before you know it two or three songs have passed you by and you can't remember anything about them. We get pre-gig nerves though. Paul nearly had a nervous breakdown before the ICA gig in London once. And Nashii has a nervous breakdown before every gig. She even has a panic signal if she forgets how to play a song! So it will be interesting to see how we last with our nerves playing at 01:00 a.m. at the State-X/New Forms Festival!” For what can we wake you up in the middle of the night? “You can wake Callan up in the middle of the night to tell him he has won one millions of pounds on the lottery. Other than that, don't, as he need loads of sleep and the other bandmembers will confirm that he is a very grumpy man without his sleep. Nashii thinks sex is a good reason to wake up in the middle of the night. Or let the cat in. Not: anything to do with work.” What lecture do you read when you’re on the toilet? “Callan likes to read toilet cleaning product labels. He likes the very interesting words that are even available in other languages so one can learn Greek or Turkish while on the loo, which is nice. Paul reads a copy of the NME, the toilet is the best place for this publication. Nashii reads skate mags because she lives in a skate house. Nollie heel flip to fakie anyone?” What can you tell about the State-X/New Forms festival? “That it’s in Holland and people speak highly of it. And that the guy on their website, posters and flyers is scary.” Fuck-off Machete wants do something interesting and different to every other band on the bill, which will add to the good variety the festival already has to offer. The audience can expect riotous noise, big choruses, sweat, lots of hair and joyous jumping around.” Do you know other bands in the line-up? “The bug – everyone needs a bit of hardcore ragga dancehall in their life and we so hope to get some winding and grinding to the bug.” What would you have booked if it was your own festival? “Paul would like to have seen Sigur Ros, Nick Cave and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Nashii would book Phoenix and Björk and other bands like Mugison and Her Space Holiday.” What else do you want to say? “If you are having problems in your life, let Machete help you. All you need to do is look after us. And thanks for inviting the Machetes to play. See you soon and Merry Xmas from the talking snowman, with love, Fuck-off Machete.” Fuck-off Machete speelt op zaterdag 17 december om 01:00 in het Paardcafé tijdens het State-X/New Forms festival.